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So, another day, another day, another day. Today was a new kind of learning experience. I had my music and I went out and there were huge crowds (it was about 10:30AM) and people were really watching and I was really dancing and I made mad loot straight off the bat and I was dancing hard and within an hour it was just over. I was zonked and so tired I didn’t even have the energy to do anything worth paying for.

So the lesson there was that I can’t just dance hard. I’m getting pushed toward making my show, which will push me toward preaching. I’m basically being pushed toward opening my mouth, which I still have been too scared to do! I love the way life works when I write, when I can sit back and analyze it rather than being caught up in the emotional maelstrom of it.

Life is just constantly pushing you toward what you are deep down “supposed to be doing” because when you don’t do that, it just never works out exactly right. For instance, if i had just talked more and danced less, I could have gone much longer and stayed as long as I had hoped to. As Bashar has always done said, if you aren’t getting 100% results, you can be guaranteed you aren’t doing it 100%.

But that’s OK, cuz I’m ok, and I don’t have to be ready to do it 100%, and by the time I do do “it” 100%, “it” will shift and there will be another new thing that I will be too scared to do at 100%. And so it continues, on and on and on and on.

I just read that Jung said that… might as well just look it up… yah, so Jung said, “Enlightenment is not imagining figures of light but making the darkness conscious.” So life is just a perfect formula for making darkness conscious. It just makes you want to do everything that is dark, and urges you gently, then stronger, then stronger, then stronger, and then eventually if you don’t do it, it just blows up your whole life and you are such a wreck that doing that thing doesn’t even seem like such a big deal anymore.

No wonder I do the puppet dance so much! Whenever I’m comfortable enough to admit it, I really do think of myself as not much more than a puppet. Voices in my head tell me to do things or ideas magically pop into my head of things that would be exciting, and then the monkey-suit starts machinating.

So anyway, it was a good day, another new learning experience, many ups and downs, and I made enough money to buy myself a tea and cookie at Barnes & Noble.

The simple things in life.

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